pinikir

I'm going to England today for my Great Aunt's funeral and I won't be back until Sunday night. Ugh I dislike going to funerals but this is probably the last time I am going to see a lot of my mum's side of the family because it was the older ones who kept the family close.

See you guys in a few days.

And it's about the job. No seriously, I mean it! The never ending saga came to an end! I've cried with relief.

I got told today the options were:

1. Wait for an assessment and maybe they will find something to help....(yeah they said the last time they had nothing else)
2. Move to service (NO NO NO, lack of a good bonus and the shift looked like hell.
3. Move to outbound. (I was like errrrrrrrr maybe what's in it for me?)


3 was the winner! Because, my wages stays the same, I can still earn roughly the same bonus, I start later on my shifts. This means the world as I miss being able to stay up later at present! And set days off. Fuck this is the best. See my days off change every week. Now I know what I am doing! I get every Sunday off and every other Saturday off (Friday on the day I am on Sat!) and the Sat's I'm in, I am only in for 4 hours. It's a sweet deal. Plus I get two weeks off over Christmas.

Sure it's going to be dull. I accept it but the system is different which means I can work it! I can get the staff mortgage I want and basically I want to hug everyone. Not everyone understood the problems, even my mum just understood it a week ago but I can stay in my job. I can go back to being stress free and I can be happy.

I've stressed so much. Felt like I was banging my head off brick walls but now I am okay. I can deal and move forward.

There are other things to blog about! They are relegated until tomorrow xP

Welp that's my job application in for two other call centers.

There was another system change last week and it's screwed my wrist over again. This time there are no fixes for it. I am not making a big deal of it in work. But... fuck this is getting too much.

I don't know if the systems in any call centers will be easier. At least I will be able to try them at the interview stage. If one does work, I am changing jobs.

I refuse to go through last year again.

Final free therapist session took place last week. I think it was the most traumatic one and that it did the most good? Today I feel good, and like I can tackle the heart of some of my worst problems.

I set myself up to fail so that I'm prepared for failure. I had reached the point I lied when I said I was ready and had done things/prepared and shrugged it off when I failed.

...the thing was it made my completely numb. Like I couldn't feel anything or care about what I was doing.


It stems back to not being able to make my dad less angry and to being told constantly oh don't try that you've only got one hand. So it was easier not to try.

And I've let so many opportunities go passed because it's been so easy to let things slide and it wasn't even hurting my anymore so it was grand.

But it is unhealthy. I found out how much its impacted choices and now its hurting again so I am going to fix this.

So yes, I am back and on the right track.

I had the most ridiculous fun when I went to see them last night. It was a blast from the past. They played all their old songs and after all of this time, the lyrics and the dances were still second nature. There was a lot of costume changes, something I haven't seen done in a long time. It meant it wasn't a slick performance but it was fun. And all the cheering made them cry which was sweet!

The best things was it was their first concert on the tour! It meant we were their test and boy we gave them everything back. I even enjoyed a Lady Gaga song they played.


What I also loved was that when they were paired up with their dancers, H was given a male dancer. They just did it and it was so natural. I just really loved the touch. And I also liked that Claire is a real size. She isn't this tiny skinny thing.

I am off work for the next two weeks. It's not for a holiday, that would be lovely. I am taking a break for mental health reasons. The doctor has told me to minimise anything that affects me and work was one of things getting me down. It feels weird admitting it, like I am weak or something. However it is the first step towards fixing things.

I can't work out what has triggered it. It feels like everything. It's all been crushing down on my skull.

I am going to speak to someone as soon as there is a free appointment and they've tossed me onto anti depressants and sleeping tablets until then. I'm not sure how I feel about that to be honest but I 'll see how it goes over the next few days.

I am going to try and blog every day to get things out of my head.

I don't know what stuff but I feel like a good ramble. It probably won't cover very much!

London
I had an epic time. Went to see We Will Rock You and LOL people followed my lead for the clapping etc. This is listed on my things of weird things that I have accomplished.

The Lion King had the prettiest staging I've ever seen.

The Madness of King George III stole the whole trip. I swear I've never seen anything better acted, I was entirely gripped the whole way through. I felt the decent into the madness and I was laughed, shocked and well...I feel like it has stuck with me for a very long time.



The Hunger Games
sfkflrglsksfs it can't come soon enough. I am getting so very excited and I can't help myself, I am stalking every bit of it.

Hello DW flist and LJ flist! Most of my rps have now declared their intent or have moved to Dreamdwidth. This means that I am split half and half between the two sites.


All my fandom stuff is still with lj and I am not looking for other places for the fandom on DW. The places, I am in, I love and the people I love so I am not abandoning them.

Or neopian_adults, man that place is the greatest for people that are super friendly and fun to interact with.


Thankfully I can do crossposts from DW so I can post to both places any time I want to say anything.

day 17 → an art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)

I'm in the mood for some Salvador Dali