pinikir

Wed, 30 Nov 2016 21:05:52 GMT

Games
Ten_Fwd
Bucky Barnes bestpal ᴍᴀʀᴠᴇʟ ᴍᴄᴜ	Percy Jackson kelpface ᴘᴇʀᴄʏ ᴊᴀᴄᴋsᴏɴ	Laura Kinney miniclaws ᴍᴀʀᴠᴇʟ 616	John Sheppard ltcolonel sᴛᴀʀɢᴀᴛᴇ ᴀᴛʟᴀɴᴛɪs
Homeless
ᴀɢᴇ ᴏf fɪᴠᴇ
Emerahl \| The Hag emerahl ᴀɢᴇ ᴏf fɪᴠᴇ
fɪʀᴇfʟʏ \| sᴇʀᴇɴɪᴛʏ
Kaylee Frye shiny fɪʀᴇfʟʏ
ʜᴀʀʀʏ ᴘᴏᴛᴛᴇʀ
James Potter maraudings ᴍᴀʀᴀᴜᴅᴇʀ ᴇʀᴀ	Remus Lupin wolfhowls ᴍᴀʀᴀᴜᴅᴇʀ ᴇʀᴀ
ʜᴜɴɢᴇʀ ɢᴀᴍᴇs
Katniss Everdeen mockingjayed ʜᴜɴɢᴇʀ ɢᴀᴍᴇs	Finnick Odair pillowsecrets ʜᴜɴɢᴇʀ ɢᴀᴍᴇs
ɪɴfᴇʀɴᴀʟ ᴅᴇᴠɪᴄᴇs \| ᴍᴏʀᴛᴀʟ ɪɴsᴛʀᴜᴍᴇɴᴛs
Jem Carstairs silvering ɪɴfᴇʀɴᴀʟ ᴅᴇᴠɪᴄᴇs	Jace Herondale nevercried ᴍᴏʀᴛᴀʟ ɪɴsᴛʀᴜᴍᴇɴᴛs	Alec Lightwood gayspider ᴍᴏʀᴛᴀʟ ɪɴsᴛʀᴜᴍᴇɴᴛs
ᴍᴀʀᴠᴇʟ 616
Billy Kaplan \| Wiccan lovesthecape ʏᴏᴜɴɢ ᴀᴠᴇɴɢᴇʀs	Jamie Madrox multipleman x-fᴀᴄᴛᴏʀ	Josh Foley \| Elixir ungold x-ᴍᴇɴ	Sofia Mantega \| Wind Dancer Wind Dancer x-ᴍᴇɴ
ᴍᴀʀᴠᴇʟ ᴍᴄᴜ
Bruce Banner alwaysangered ᴍᴀʀᴠᴇʟ ᴍᴄᴜ	Clint Barton instinctiveshooter ᴍᴀʀᴠᴇʟ ᴍᴄᴜ	Natasha Romanoff topassassin ᴍᴀʀᴠᴇʟ ᴍᴄᴜ	Tony Stark reactored ᴍᴀʀᴠᴇʟ ᴍᴄᴜ
ᴍᴇᴍᴏɪʀs ᴏf ᴀ ɢᴇɪsʜᴀ
Sayuri fadingworld ᴍᴇᴍᴏɪʀs ᴏf ᴀ ɢᴇɪsʜᴀ
ᴍɪsfɪᴛs
Kelly Bailey croydoned ᴍɪsfɪᴛs
ᴍɪsᴛʙᴏʀɴ
Ven Venture mistcloaked ᴍɪsᴛʙᴏʀɴ
Percy Jackson \| Heroes of Olympus
Piper McLean persuasions ʜᴇʀᴏᴇs ᴏf ᴏʟʏᴍᴘᴜs
St Trinians
Chelsea Parker poshtotty sᴛ ᴛʀɪɴɪᴀɴs
ᴛᴏʀᴄʜᴡᴏᴏᴅ
Captain Jack Harkness faceofboe Torchwood
A U
ʟᴇs ᴍɪsᴇʀᴀʙʟᴇs
Combeferre unvarying ʟᴇs ᴍɪsᴇʀᴀʙʟᴇs	Grantaire unsober ʟᴇs ᴍɪsᴇʀᴀʙʟᴇs	Jehan poeta ʟᴇs ᴍɪsᴇʀᴀʙʟᴇs

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Radio Silence for a few days

Thu, 13 Sep 2012 10:20:24 GMT

I'm going to England today for my Great Aunt's funeral and I won't be back until Sunday night. Ugh I dislike going to funerals but this is probably the last time I am going to see a lot of my mum's side of the family because it was the older ones who kept the family close.

See you guys in a few days.

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I'm not in work on a Saturday!

Sat, 08 Sep 2012 12:03:01 GMT

This is my first Saturday and Sunday off together in forever. I have to go right back to the start of year to locate the last time it happened. It was great to wake and start grinning! And it's also giving me time to do things like pack up more books, dvds and comics to move them home. I swear, I had no idea my possessions consisted mostly of these!

I watched my copy of The Hunger Games last night and I'm still obsessed it. Books, film or audio book, it all makes me very happy/

I've got the Hunger Games cook book and I'm thinking I should try and do a dinner from it some night this month because it would be epic and different. I will post pictures when I do it.

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Good News!!!!

Thu, 06 Sep 2012 22:38:05 GMT

And it's about the job. No seriously, I mean it! The never ending saga came to an end! I've cried with relief.

I got told today the options were:

1. Wait for an assessment and maybe they will find something to help....(yeah they said the last time they had nothing else)
2. Move to service (NO NO NO, lack of a good bonus and the shift looked like hell.
3. Move to outbound. (I was like errrrrrrrr maybe what's in it for me?)

3 was the winner! Because, my wages stays the same, I can still earn roughly the same bonus, I start later on my shifts. This means the world as I miss being able to stay up later at present! And set days off. Fuck this is the best. See my days off change every week. Now I know what I am doing! I get every Sunday off and every other Saturday off (Friday on the day I am on Sat!) and the Sat's I'm in, I am only in for 4 hours. It's a sweet deal. Plus I get two weeks off over Christmas.

Sure it's going to be dull. I accept it but the system is different which means I can work it! I can get the staff mortgage I want and basically I want to hug everyone. Not everyone understood the problems, even my mum just understood it a week ago but I can stay in my job. I can go back to being stress free and I can be happy.

I've stressed so much. Felt like I was banging my head off brick walls but now I am okay. I can deal and move forward.

There are other things to blog about! They are relegated until tomorrow xP

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Ends & Fresh Starts

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 15:12:32 GMT

I've been living with my best friend for a year. Sadly it's coming to end with her leaving me *sob*.

And at the end of the month I am going back to living with parents much to my deep disgust, this was not part of my plans. But the good news is I hope it will only be a for a few months until I can buy somewhere. There is no way I want to rent again. I want to be putting my money into somewhere that is my own. Living with them will let me save a bit more, and the mortgage and bills will be a little cheaper than what I've been paying for past few months since it went down to two of us in the house! Which is relief since I've been having to balance money very carefully!

Also with the loss of Miranda, I need to get out and find some clubs or something to join. I need to make some friends I can go out in the week with otherwise I am going to go stir crazy. At the moment, I am going out a lot less often then I would like. I am becoming a recluse and it isn't me!

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Jobs

Sun, 26 Aug 2012 17:44:01 GMT

Welp that's my job application in for two other call centers.

There was another system change last week and it's screwed my wrist over again. This time there are no fixes for it. I am not making a big deal of it in work. But... fuck this is getting too much.

I don't know if the systems in any call centers will be easier. At least I will be able to try them at the interview stage. If one does work, I am changing jobs.

I refuse to go through last year again.

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50 Shades of Grey

Thu, 05 Jul 2012 13:37:27 GMT

So I am curled up on the couch dealing with the aftermath of getting wisdom teeth taken out. I haven been reading this stupid book on and off. I've decided to leave some thoughts on it.

✖ Comedy. This is the only category for this book. It's a caricature of everything. People included.
✖ It reads like a fanfic. I know it started off as one lol but there are moments so close to the books that it is obvious. e.g. meeting the family.
✖ There is a whole chapter on contracts which is lifted from the internet. It's written in a different style to the rest of the book.
✖ She interchanges dom/sub and master/slave like they both mean the same thing.
✖ The writing is terrible. She talks about The Red Room of Pain

The more of it that I read, the more offended I get that this book got published and is such a best seller. It got published for shock value and everyone who loves it skips over how crap it is. The sex is crap. The only vaguely hot bit contained no actual sex.

I have a few chapters left and ugh I will be lucky if I make it to the end.

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If I set myself up to fail, then failing won't be bad

Sun, 27 May 2012 19:42:42 GMT

Final free therapist session took place last week. I think it was the most traumatic one and that it did the most good? Today I feel good, and like I can tackle the heart of some of my worst problems.

I set myself up to fail so that I'm prepared for failure. I had reached the point I lied when I said I was ready and had done things/prepared and shrugged it off when I failed.

...the thing was it made my completely numb. Like I couldn't feel anything or care about what I was doing.

It stems back to not being able to make my dad less angry and to being told constantly oh don't try that you've only got one hand. So it was easier not to try.

And I've let so many opportunities go passed because it's been so easy to let things slide and it wasn't even hurting my anymore so it was grand.

But it is unhealthy. I found out how much its impacted choices and now its hurting again so I am going to fix this.

So yes, I am back and on the right track.

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Chilled Out Update

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 19:02:36 GMT

This week I was able to make a list of everything that has bothered me and brought me to this point. It was a tangled list, a lot of it is up in my head. There are some things I can talk to people about. The rest? I will talk out to a neutral person and put them behind me.

It all bundled into a I'm not needed, I screw up and run away from myself and I can't deal with having one hand. I have to face things head on and believe me,

I AM.

I've got a firm grip on myself and I am not letting go.

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I have purple hair

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 20:34:25 GMT

And I love it

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Updatey Thing

Fri, 06 Apr 2012 22:59:07 GMT

I owns an ipad2! I don't even care. It's perfect for cooking and traveling. I don't need to worry about porting my mac around with me anymore. I got an awesome contract on it with 15GB data limit a month! I will have no worries with it when I am not hooked up to a home wifi. The thing got named Finnick, it was the first name that sprung to mind. My obsession with 'The Hunger Games' has not dimmed.

It also means I can carry comics into work on it. It will less obvious what I am doing. And also lol I can tag on my breaks. I don't even care. Rping is a good stress buster for me.

I'm handling this past couple of days a lot better. It's so much eaiser to wake up and feel positive and I feel less stressed out about going out the door. I've slowly been working through things and letting go. It's been so much easier when I'm not over analysing everything. I'm using the energy instead to get things completed.

I still procrastinate when I set my goals too high, or have too high expectations of myself. So I am trying to break down my goals into smaller tasks, rather than panicking about the bigger picture.

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Steps!

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 18:39:31 GMT

I had the most ridiculous fun when I went to see them last night. It was a blast from the past. They played all their old songs and after all of this time, the lyrics and the dances were still second nature. There was a lot of costume changes, something I haven't seen done in a long time. It meant it wasn't a slick performance but it was fun. And all the cheering made them cry which was sweet!

The best things was it was their first concert on the tour! It meant we were their test and boy we gave them everything back. I even enjoyed a Lady Gaga song they played.

What I also loved was that when they were paired up with their dancers, H was given a male dancer. They just did it and it was so natural. I just really loved the touch. And I also liked that Claire is a real size. She isn't this tiny skinny thing.

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A Good and a Bad Day

Sun, 01 Apr 2012 19:45:00 GMT

I woke up and made a to do list for the day. It felt good. I think I will revise it for tomorrow though and set lower expectations for myself. I need structure but I freak myself out and think I need to do everything at once. Weirdly I think this is why my writing has become so disjointed. I jump hurriedly from one idea to the next so that I cover everything. That was a ramble there. What it comes down to is that I feel better setting smaller tasks for myself and completing them; that way I can rebuild myself.

Tonight I told my parents what was going on. I was freaking out about it. Our family simple doesn't talk about that kind of thing. However, despite their shock, they are going to support me. This comes down to them giving me the space to work out what I want without any snide comments from them. It's going to be hard for them, but I won't see them so much for a two weeks. I need to be away from them.

I'm also going to speak out when things bother me. I am going to be horribly blunt. I need to do it to get over the fear of saying anything. This will hopefully improve my self confidence.

And that's it for this post.

Thanks for all the messages of support. They have really helped me to see I am not going completely mad.

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Keep Calm and Write

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 10:00:12 GMT

I am off work for the next two weeks. It's not for a holiday, that would be lovely. I am taking a break for mental health reasons. The doctor has told me to minimise anything that affects me and work was one of things getting me down. It feels weird admitting it, like I am weak or something. However it is the first step towards fixing things.

I can't work out what has triggered it. It feels like everything. It's all been crushing down on my skull.

I am going to speak to someone as soon as there is a free appointment and they've tossed me onto anti depressants and sleeping tablets until then. I'm not sure how I feel about that to be honest but I 'll see how it goes over the next few days.

I am going to try and blog every day to get things out of my head.

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Of cars

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 19:54:27 GMT

I own my own car now! It is a little Nissan Micra and it's pale gold. Because of it's colour I've named it Elixir. My nerd is showing through. I am glad it isn't silver or I would have been forced to call it Quicksilver. If that had happened, I would have been in danger of murdering my own car.

To drive it, I needed an adaption put on the steering wheel. This infrared pad and knob:

The thing cost me £1200. I got no fucking help paying for it. It's still pissing me off. Why the hell did I have to pay a quarter of the price of my car extra, when other people don't. I asked around for help and again and again I was turned down for help. If it hadn't been for my parents who helped me with it, I would never have been able to do it.

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Stuff!

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 13:17:35 GMT

I don't know what stuff but I feel like a good ramble. It probably won't cover very much!

London
I had an epic time. Went to see We Will Rock You and LOL people followed my lead for the clapping etc. This is listed on my things of weird things that I have accomplished.

The Lion King had the prettiest staging I've ever seen.

The Madness of King George III stole the whole trip. I swear I've never seen anything better acted, I was entirely gripped the whole way through. I felt the decent into the madness and I was laughed, shocked and well...I feel like it has stuck with me for a very long time.

The Hunger Games
sfkflrglsksfs it can't come soon enough. I am getting so very excited and I can't help myself, I am stalking every bit of it.

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So much reading!

Sat, 21 Jan 2012 12:01:40 GMT

With a very sore wrist I've been off the phones in work with very little to do. Consequently I've been getting a lot of reading done.

I have been getting through a book a day! Before you look too impressed they are fun reads, it isn't something like War and Peace. I've read War Horse and nearly all the Percy Jackson books again.

War Horse disappointed me. I mean it was done in the style of Black Beauty so it should have been fantastic but it lacked detail. Like it would hint that he had bad masters and yet? Well, apart from the gun pulling team there was no sign of it. It tried to make you feel for characters but rarely succeeded because it didn't build it up much, whether it was with human or another horse.

I'm an avid reader of horse books and I do read a lot of teenage ones. However this one fell sadly short of expectations. I will go to see the film though, so I can compare the film and the book.

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First Cross Post in a Long time!

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 18:14:06 GMT

Hello DW flist and LJ flist! Most of my rps have now declared their intent or have moved to Dreamdwidth. This means that I am split half and half between the two sites.

All my fandom stuff is still with lj and I am not looking for other places for the fandom on DW. The places, I am in, I love and the people I love so I am not abandoning them.

Or neopian_adults, man that place is the greatest for people that are super friendly and fun to interact with.

Thankfully I can do crossposts from DW so I can post to both places any time I want to say anything.

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30 Day Meme

Wed, 12 May 2010 07:42:06 GMT

day 18 → whatever tickles your fancy

I am probably never going to take this tickle bit of the meme seriously!

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30 Day Meme

Tue, 11 May 2010 04:49:55 GMT

day 17 → an art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)

I'm in the mood for some Salvador Dali

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30 Day Meme

Sun, 09 May 2010 20:34:32 GMT

day 16 → a song that makes you cry (or nearly)

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30 Day Meme

Sun, 09 May 2010 05:30:11 GMT

day 15 → a fanfic

It seems oddly appropriate that today one of my favourite writers has been talking about why he doesn't like fanfiction. I find his point of you fascinating and oddly refreshing. It is very easy to see and appreciate the opposing view to fanfiction if you read over HERE

Back on Track for the Day:

Being Human, George/Mitchell Hold Me Back

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30 Day Meme

Sat, 08 May 2010 10:24:52 GMT

Day 14 → A non-fictional book
I had plans to do a lovely little review but I'm 15 and a half hours into my shift and nothing can lift my enthusiasm to do. Safe it say it is a great funny read.

George RR Martin did comment back to me on his blog so minor squee there!

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30 Day Meme

Fri, 07 May 2010 08:07:48 GMT

Day 13 → A fictional book
mirasymphony finally persuaded me to read this series and it is awesome

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30 Day Meme

Thu, 06 May 2010 04:18:09 GMT

Day 12 → Whatever tickles your fancy

This little fellow wants to tickle you!

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